Thought Perspectives Counseling

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One of the first steps one has to take in order to initiate the healing process is to unload pent-up emotional pain and mental anguish. The positive effect of unloading can be felt immediately and can feel like a heavy burden lifted off of your shoulders. Doing so with a professional counselor can be beneficial because they are trained to listen and provide emotional support. Unrealistic expectations often hinder this process. For instance, one might think that no one else should have to listen to their complaints or bear their burden. This falls under the unrealistic expectations of believing that one should be able to handle all of their problems without help from others or believing that no one else has the desire to help them. Counseling can provide a safe place to assist you in identifying unrealistic expectations and then help you change them to more realistic expectations.

Sometimes the only way to solve a problem is to get to the root of it. This involves figuring out when it started, how it started, and why it still continues to be a problem. A good counselor can help change your personal problems from the roots on up. This requires time and patience on the part of the person seeking help.

The fact that a counselor is not a friend or family member can actually makes it easier for the counselor to help you. The advice of friends and family members can often be colored with biases, judgments, or preconceptions. Not only do counselors work to be objective and non-judgmental with their clients, that is what they are trained to do. The goal of a counselor is to assist the client in getting what they want out of life not to assist them in getting what someone else wants for them.

Communication is really the foundation of every relationship so if you are lacking in this area you will be under much more stress than those who can communicate effectively. For most people, communication takes up a good amount of time whether it involves interacting with co-workers, friends, and loved ones or giving presentations and writing articles. Unlike mathematics and English, communication is one very important subject that most people are not taught on a formal basis. With that being said, it is no wonder that many people have communication difficulties. Led Zeppelin even dedicated a song to the phenomenon entitled Communication Breakdown on their first album. The good news is that counseling can be an excellent way to learn proper and effective communication skills. A well-trained counselor can help you figure out what areas of communication need improvement and then help you repair them. This can be practiced in the confidential setting of the counseling office in an attempt to avoid social awkwardness until the person is ready to put their newly learned communication skills to the test in the outside world.

Those seeking professional help can be assured that anything they choose to discuss in counseling will remain between themselves and the counselor. Professional counselors are bound by an ethical code to maintain confidentiality. The counseling office is oftentimes viewed as a safe house where people feel free to discuss personal issues without feeling uncomfortable or embarrassed. If for some reason the counselor has to breach confidentiality, they are obligated to notify the client first. Counselors are legally mandated to notify the proper authorities if: 1) a client threatens to harm oneself, 2) a client threatens to harm someone else, or 3) there is reason to believe a child or an individual unable to care for oneself is being abused.

Imagine having someone you trust give you educated and unbiased advice on how to make major life decisions. A professional counselor can provide just that. Am I ready to get married? Is my relationship worth staying in? Should I take this new job? Those are difficult questions that almost anyone could use some assistance with. One of the reasons why counselors are effective at helping people with difficult decisions is because they provide an unbiased view of the clients situation, a view that is not colored with judgments and preconceptions. Counselors are trained for that type of thinking. Their interest is in helping their client make decisions that are in the best interest of the client.
Everyone makes mistakes, but when the same mistakes continue to occur, something needs to change. It is sometimes extremely difficult for people to step outside of their own situations to see what needs to be changed. This is where a counselor can be helpful. A fresh look and an unbiased survey of the situation is exactly what a professional counselor can provide. The right counselor can also assist you in identifying unhealthy patterns and help you to start creating healthy patterns.

Difficult life transitions can consist of: getting married, getting divorced, starting a new job, losing a job, retirement, starting college, and experiencing the death of a loved one. Transitional phases are difficult because they are sometimes unexpected and they take people out of their comfort zones and force them to adapt. There are positive and negative ways to adapt. For example, someone who loses their job could adapt positively by doing everything in their power to find another job. The same person could adapt negatively by feeling sorry for him or herself and cease all efforts to find another job. Those who have adapted negatively to a situation are the ones who should seek counseling. The counseling process can help them to get back on their feet and re-adapt to their situation in a more positive manner.

Go for it. Just do it. Grab the bull by the horns. Those are all slogans that state, in my opinion, that getting what you want out of life is much easier said than done. While having the get up and go is a big part of getting what you want, there is also a lot of psychology and methodology behind it as well. It becomes apparent that some people, more so than others, are more adept at getting what they want out of life. The easy solution to this problem is to tell someone to, find those who are successful at getting what they want and do what they do. While that sounds reasonable, it is much more difficult than it might seem. Those associated with getting what they want out of life usually have high levels of self-confidence and assertiveness. Those are not traits that people can just absorb over night, although they can be taught through counseling over time. Self-confidence and assertiveness are still not enough to help you get what you want out of life, there also has to be a method to getting what you want. There is a good chance that using a strategic method will only enable people to get what they want sooner. It boils down to a game of efficiency. Enlisting the help of a professional counselor to assist in coming up with a plan might be the first step in the efficiency game. Once a plan is established it never hurts to have someone to hold you accountable to it.

Those with low levels of self-confidence tend to downplay their positive attributes and focus on their deficiencies. It is also possible that those lacking in self-confidence dont have people in their lives to compliment them and reassure them of their positive attributes or, perhaps they have just learned to ignore the adulation of others. Emotional support and assistance in learning how to focus more on positive attributes are just two of the advantages a good counselor can offer. Counseling can also show the client how to reverse the process of tuning out the positive and focusing on the negative.

Learning to be honest with yourself basically involves breaking down a wall of denial and coming to terms with who you really are as a person. It takes a lot of inner strength to stop pretending to be someone else and reveal your true self to the real world. This process alone is enough to shake ones foundation, but the reward of feeling comfortable in your own skin can make life much more manageable and pleasurable. Counseling can assist people in becoming honest with themselves which will enable them to be more honest with others.
The goal of counseling is not to have the client become dependent on the counselor for answers and advice but for the client to eventually learn to counsel oneself. A good counselor will teach clients how to think through their decisions before making them, to communicate their needs more efficiently, and to identify and manage emotions.
Sometimes people just need to unload their thoughts and emotions to someone that really knows how to listen and understand what they are going through. Well-respected counselors are excellent listeners that can also pick up on the underlying thoughts and emotions that are not verbalized. A professional set of ears can be invaluable for helping people to release stress and figure out what it is they are actually feeling.

It is important that you find a counselor who can listen well and understand what it is that you are trying to get across. Is the counselor asking enough questions? Is the counselor asking the right questions? If you feel like you are being misunderstood, then you might consider finding another counselor.

One of the reasons counseling can be so effective is because it can make you look at your life more realistically. If you have low self-esteem, a good counselor will challenge you to improve your self-image and not just flatter you in an attempt to boost your self-esteem artificially. An effective counselor will be more proactive by giving you tasks and assignments to help you improve your situation. If you feel like you are not being challenged, then maybe it is time to find another counselor.

It is imperative to find a counselor to whom you feel connected with and with whom you feel safe. One of the goals in counseling should be to intentionally let yourself feel vulnerable to the counselor. While that might seem frightening, that is one very important process that promotes growth from learning that you can put your trust in someone without becoming devastated by the aftermath. Enabling yourself to feel vulnerable means that you must feel safe and be able to trust the counselor.
The only way that you can feel safe disclosing personal information to a counselor is to know that the counselor is not passing judgment on you. No matter how ridiculous or repulsive you may think your thoughts or feelings are, it is the job of the counselor to accept you for who you are and not to dispense judgments or preconceptions.

If you are interested in making progress in your treatment, then rule number one is not to settle for a counselor that you feel will not be able to help you to your fullest extent. Just like any other profession, there are good and bad counselors in the field. Several research studies have shown that the theoretical approach or even the credentials of a counselor or therapist do not matter as much as the relationship that is developed between the counselor and the client. This analogy may illustrate the point better; it is possible to walk several miles in a pair of shoes that do not fit or that are uncomfortable. However, walking several miles in the right pair of shoes will most likely get you there faster and make the whole experience more enjoyable along the way. You may not be able to find the right counselor on the first attempt, it may take several tries. Your persistence will pay off when you do find the right counselor. When contacting counselors via telephone, you will often get a voicemail because most counselors have very tight schedules. It is important to leave your name, a brief message, and a number they can reach you at. A good counselor should call you back within the same day or the next day at the latest depending on the time of your call.